"And that porch will be magnificent looking in between the columns You gotta get yourself some marble columns! You don't believe me? Just ask my daughter Lexie! You have the closed porch under the columns Overlooking the Washington Monument, the Jefferson Memorial Look at these columns! Look at this one! Look at that one! Can you believe it? You can stick these things everywhere They make your house look like a palace, like a castle People are gonna look at your house and go, who lives there? The Pope? What is that? The Playboy Mansion? It's ridiculous! Imagine pulling up to your house and seeing these and going, oh my god I live here!"