"Oh, if Wales and Parker Bowles moved in next door to me, I should tolerate it. I'd go round there, Wales, Parker Bowles, welcome to 22 The Larches, I'm Doberman number 24. Don't let your horses and dog shit on the pavement, we'll all get on fine. Not a very good nick though, is it, next to you, Frank? It'd be handy for them having you around to do the place up, eh? Oh, I should have to redo the old place for them. And I should do it with the solemnity that a royal refurbishment requires. And if Parker Bowles said to me, Frank, you're doing a superb job, sit down here and have a cup of tea, alright, I'd sit on the settee and take a well-deserved five-minute break. Nice. But, if she'd come and sat next to me, put a blue movie on the video, started rubbing her hand up and down my leg and licking my ear hole suggestively, I should say, hey, Parker Bowles, no! I admire your tight-lipped response to the press and the fact you ain't afraid to dress your age, mutton dressed as mutton, but you've already ruined Wales' marriage, you ain't gonna ruin mine. Take your hand off my leg, you stuck-up, toffee-nosed, all-space bitch!"