"That's twice something while I'm sleeping first time it felt like an infinity mirror of me falling into something second time this was cramping I Thought I was gonna die. My head was turning Kind of un-cramped. I've been through too much. I don't know how to deal with it Usually you have like a pastor to help you through your grief or something I don't think they'll do the math for it. I don't think anyone I mean I mean Possibly one or two people, but I think I'm about to die"