"If you're not on Twitter and threads, you probably haven't seen all the Mitch McConnell is dead jokes that are happening So I'm here to inform you of the best ones now before we get into it If you are someone who thinks that making fun of Mitch McConnell for potentially being dead isn't appropriate Despite the fact that he is one of the most despicable human beings on the planet and is at this very moment being kept Alive by machines using health care that he would deny to the majority of the public then this video probably isn't for you So before you whine about how everybody deserves respect and dignity and blah blah blah. Just just scroll. Okay. Okay, let's get into it So Mitch McConnell is probably dead right at the very least. He's on life support There has been zero proof of life But scott jennings posted this and it set off the best reactions that have happened on the internet in a little while I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning the senior senator from kentucky He's still recovering in the hospital We talked for just shy of 20 minutes about iran ukraine the unfolding situation in maine My visit to the tr presidential library and even a little bit of senate history I told him we want to see him back at work as soon as possible Then thomas massie who pushed really hard for the release of the upscene files and then lost reelection said I spoke to mcconnell for about 20 minutes this morning He said we should end the war with iran quit giving to israel Stop spying on americans without a warrant and he's really sorry about how my primary turned out And this is when the jokes begin I just spoke to mitch mcconnell and he said my call is very important to him and he is experiencing unusually high call Volume and then he played an instrumental version of sympathy for the devil for 20 minutes I spoke with mitch mcconnell for 20 minutes this morning and he said he would have gotten away with it too if it Weren't for you meddling kids. I had a 20 minute conversation with mitch mcconnell this morning He said that he's coming out of his cage and he's been doing just fine I spoke with mitch mcconnell for 20 minutes this morning And he said that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell guys I spoke to mitch for 20 minutes this morning and he told me not to take sky rizzi if i'm allergic to sky rizzi I spoke to mitch mcconnell and he said sam the first night at bed after you left ron made out with two Girls and put his hand between a cocktail waitress's breast. He was also grinding with multiple fat women I spoke to mitch mcconnell for a good 20 minutes this morning and he said beep Beep The only people having 20 minute conversations with mitch mcconnell right now are satan and charlie kirk Which seems a little unfair to satan and finally, I wasn't a fan of mitch mcconnell But the jokes about him dying are really gross people think it's okay because he's 84 But that's actually still quite young for a tortoise"