"A cowboy was sitting in a saloon one day when he recognized an elderly man sitting at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West. The cowboy went and sat next to the elderly man, bought him a drink and told him of his ambition. Do you think you can give me some tips? Well for one, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster down lower. Will that make me a better gunfighter? The young man asked him. Sure will, the old timer said. The young man did as he was told. Then he whipped out his .44, shot the bow tie off the piano player. That's terrific. Have you got any more tips for me? Cut a notch out of your holster. Where the hammer hits it, that'll give you a smoother draw. Will that make me a better gunfighter? You bet it will. The young man took out his knife, cut out a notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur and shot the cufflinks off the piano player. Wow, exclaimed the cowboy. I'm learning something new here. Have you got any more tips? The old man pointed to a large can in the corner. You see that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it. The young man went over to the can, smeared grease all over the barrel of his gun. No, said the old timer. I mean, smear it all over the gun, handle and all. Will that make me a better gunfighter? The young man asked him. Nope, but when Wyatt Earps finished playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your behind."